Buddha Does The Sex Pistols
So I just finished reading this incredibly book by a guy named Noah Levine. Dharma Punx chronicles his life from Santa Cruz pre-teen skate-boarder to crack addict to SF-based meditation and dharma teacher.
Fucking awesome. Of course, since I was a young DC-punk wannabe back in the day, a lot of what he said resonated with me. I was way into Minor Threat and the whole straight-edge movement back in the late 80s and only found my way to pot and alcohol and more when I went to college. (You'd think a school as high profile as Penn would have frowned on binge drinking and the like, but that's where I learned fun tricks like: wake and bake; 4:20; jello shots and keg parties. I bought my first bong and my first pipe. Yum.)
The whole time I was reading the book the lyrics to that old Minor Threat straight edge anthem kept running through my mind: "I don't drink/I don't smoke/I don't fuck/At least I can fucking think/I can't keep up I can't keep up I can't keep up/Out of touch with the world..." And more of the same... Funny how now, 15 years after I lost touch with my straight edge roots, those same lyrics--well, except for the fucking, although now that we're married we call it making looooove...)--still seem to fit me more than ever.
It has now been six months and 20 days since I've had a drop of alcohol. And I do feel like I'm going against the current in many ways. (Over the last six months I've heard: Why aren't you drinking? Will you ever drink again? Are you pregnant?Are sure you're not pregnant?) Worse, I suspect some of our friends avoid me because I'm not really that fun anymore--fun meaning getting fucked out of your mind--or because I make them feel bad about their own habits.
Now, I'm not saying I'm never going to drink again. I plan on having a glass (or two) of champagne on our anniversary (July 24th) but I want to do it mindfully. Because I consciously decide to and not because everyone else around me is doing it or because, well, drinking is just some way to fill the time. I've spent too much of my life blinded by fear, falling into habits out of default or anxiety or some childish need to fit in with everyone around me. Or maybe even fear. Fear that I might fall into the same addictions that plague so many people in my family.
So I just finished reading this incredibly book by a guy named Noah Levine. Dharma Punx chronicles his life from Santa Cruz pre-teen skate-boarder to crack addict to SF-based meditation and dharma teacher.
Fucking awesome. Of course, since I was a young DC-punk wannabe back in the day, a lot of what he said resonated with me. I was way into Minor Threat and the whole straight-edge movement back in the late 80s and only found my way to pot and alcohol and more when I went to college. (You'd think a school as high profile as Penn would have frowned on binge drinking and the like, but that's where I learned fun tricks like: wake and bake; 4:20; jello shots and keg parties. I bought my first bong and my first pipe. Yum.)
The whole time I was reading the book the lyrics to that old Minor Threat straight edge anthem kept running through my mind: "I don't drink/I don't smoke/I don't fuck/At least I can fucking think/I can't keep up I can't keep up I can't keep up/Out of touch with the world..." And more of the same... Funny how now, 15 years after I lost touch with my straight edge roots, those same lyrics--well, except for the fucking, although now that we're married we call it making looooove...)--still seem to fit me more than ever.
It has now been six months and 20 days since I've had a drop of alcohol. And I do feel like I'm going against the current in many ways. (Over the last six months I've heard: Why aren't you drinking? Will you ever drink again? Are you pregnant?Are sure you're not pregnant?) Worse, I suspect some of our friends avoid me because I'm not really that fun anymore--fun meaning getting fucked out of your mind--or because I make them feel bad about their own habits.
Now, I'm not saying I'm never going to drink again. I plan on having a glass (or two) of champagne on our anniversary (July 24th) but I want to do it mindfully. Because I consciously decide to and not because everyone else around me is doing it or because, well, drinking is just some way to fill the time. I've spent too much of my life blinded by fear, falling into habits out of default or anxiety or some childish need to fit in with everyone around me. Or maybe even fear. Fear that I might fall into the same addictions that plague so many people in my family.
posted by Minerva Jane at
9:17 PM
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