Tuesday, September 19, 2006

On Ignoring Your Inner Voice

Listen to your body, the yoga teacher says.

Follow your heart, my sister advises.

Heed your inner voice, Hallmark whispers.

Well, for years I’ve been struggling to figure out just what my inner self wants and needs and I think I’ve finally come to the conclusion that my inner voice is full of shit.

Inner Minerva Jane thinks she should sit on the sofa night after night, eating pepperoni pizza and wings and ice cream. She guzzles wine and Mountain Dew and never takes her vitamins. She never goes running or makes it to the yoga classes she knows she loves or does any of the things that make her happy and healthy. She likes bad TV and mind-numbing celebrity mags. (She’s got a special place in her dark heart for Star and People.) She has periodic fits of blinding range that just roll over her, smashing everything and everyone in their wake. She’s prone to envy and sloth and arrogance and forgets to brush her teeth. Worse yet: she spends hours telling me how horrible and worthless I am. That my writing and my dreams will never amount to anything. That I’m a burden on those I love and an irritant to strangers.

So. Why should I listen to her? She’s never done me any good.

Truth is she needs discipline not freedom.

Which is a really long way of saying I’m going to go workout tonight if I like it or not. Even if it’s overcast outside and the cats are all curled up in soft little balls on the sofa. And when I get back I'm going to meditate for at least fifteen minutes before I crawl under the covers. So there, MJ.

Keep yer mouth shut.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Karen said...

I think your inner voice and my inner voice must have been seperated at their cosmic birth. I sat reading your post, happily shovelling my chips, dip and coke into my mouth when my inner Karen started banging her head against mine "FAT, LAZY, SLOTH...GET UP and PUT THE CHIP DOWN". So now I'm waiting for mp3 player to charge so I can go work them off. Damn that inner voice - she's a bitch. But tonight I shall heed her advice and hop on my elliptical trainer, and stretch before bed.

7:12 PM  
Anonymous Princess Yaffa said...

LOL! Yeah, that sounds like my inner voice. Sometimes, I just have to slap my inner self upside the head.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Wendy Ann Edwina D'Cunha e Pereira said...

I don't really think what you are describing is your inner voice.... That's the emotional baggage you are carrying around, a reaction to experiences, stimuli & situations... It's also part human nature.. We all feel like that once in a while or mor often ;-). FOr your inner vice, you will have to dig much deeper within yourself... In todays loud world it kind of gets buried deep deep within... we sometimes lose track of it...
Now I've gotten too serios, i think...

6:08 AM  
Blogger Red said...

Your inner voice is a mean beatch, MJ! And seriously misguided, too. What's this crap it feeds you about being a burden and an irritant?! That's just nasty.

I'd say get a better, louder inner voice, one that is kind and encouraging and not gratuitously horrid to you, but it sounds like you already have. And good on you. It might be a little feeble yet, it might have to struggle against the other one (pwah, a pox on it!), but it will shout from the mountains one day!

6:12 AM  
Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

wow... inner minerva jane and inner martha elaine belden would are TOTALLY twins! my inner demon, who just happens to share my name, does every single thing inner mineva jane does.

i wish i could get rid of inner m.e.b... but i don't know what exactly that would do to outer...

hmmm...

5:41 PM  

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