Monday, March 31, 2008

What I'm Left With

So things have steadily gotten better since my last post. My body has completely healed and my emotions are no longer on that cathartic roller coaster they were on in the days that followed the miscarriage. And this past weekend? I caught myself feeling happy more often than not. (Now mind you, I'm still finding myself bawling at commercials and TV shows and the general uncertainty of life but those tears dry quickly and don't seem to impede my general well-being.... Like a flash rainstorm in early summer.)

But I've done a lot of soul searching over the last 21 days and I've discovered that there are four things I absolutely believe. They include:

1. There is no God.
2. Happiness is a choice we make and entirely independent of the actual circumstances of our lives.
3. The energy--positive or negative--that we put out into this world always gets returned to us...
4. What we believe about ourselves is infinitely more important than what's actually true.

I know it may sound strange--especially to those of you who believe in one of the Big Three religions (Islam; Christianity; Judaism)--but these four beliefs give me an enormous amount of comfort and joy...

And now? Just you watch. This Spring I''ll be a phoenix rising out of her own ashes. This new Minerva Jane will be stronger and more beautiful than she ever was before.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008


I had a miscarriage late Monday night.

I was 12 weeks pregnant.

I don't really have any words for the pain I'm feeling right now. Except that its overwhelming.

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Monday, March 03, 2008

Two More Weeks Until My First Trimester Is Over!

I'll be psyched. Especially since I'll coast into the second tri--and leaving this horrible exhaustion behind--just as Spring arrives in Brooklyn. And those of you who know me know that Spring and Summer means long walks, lots of picture taking and general outdoorsy fun!